"Getting organized is a well planned out event if you want "perpetual organization."  Achieving long-term organization starts with understanding what you truly value in life.  The next step is to categorize every single object in your home. Once everything is categorized you want to go through every object, category by category and make good decisions about what you keep and what you will donate, trash or gift. But how do you make those good decisions? Using the exercise below will makes it easy.  Ask yourself these four questions while pondering your belongings.

• Is it being used?  Will I use this ever?
• Is it serving a purpose? 
• Do I love it?
• Is it sentimental?

Having a criteria for what you keep in your real estate is important, otherwise you will find you own things that will go unused. These things take up space. So many abandoned objects just sitting around, feeling abandoned. Matter matters and it has energy and too much stagnant matter-objects are a symbol of you being stagnant.  

Remember the outer if a reflection of the inner, so everything around you is a representation of how you are doing in your inner self. So lots and lots of clutter and piles, and disorganization means a chaotic you.

I have so many clients struggling to get to their daily, weekly and monthly items put away in an organized manner. They have difficulty finding things they want to use only to go and buy more stuff. They want organizing systems and methods so piles and stuffed areas are remedied for good. They want to stop tripping over items they use once or twice a year and find better storage solutions for the things they use daily. All the stuff weighing on them and around them becomes an obstacle to an ideal lifestyle. You too may have challenges with your space that are weighing you down. We have solutions and ideas that will help you get organized for good! 

The I-Deal-Lifestyle methods of getting and staying organized will help you extract the items you use the most, and find the appropriate home to store what you use the least. We re-design your entire space to create a system that is easy and functional and aesthetically pleasing. We organize your kitchen, living areas, bathrooms, bedrooms, cabinets, closets, and the garage so these areas are categorized. We make sure each category in each area of your space is contained. Containing categories is our secret method for you to keep up the space without our help after we are gone! By taking the items you do not use daily, weekly and monthly, and finding areas in the garage or furthest from your everyday living space you will have easy access to the things you use more often.

Get a free 30 minute phone consultation with an I-Deal-Lifestyle professional organizer by calling 949-709-7000 or emailing findorganizer@gmail.com  We serve all of Orange County, Los Angeles and San Diego. We also have i-deal-lifestyle organizers throughout the 52 states. Get your house, home, business, office, garage organized now and live an easier lifestyle.
www.i-deal-lifestyle.com
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You love your partner, child, mom, your dad, grandparent, your sister, brother, cousins, best friend and neighbor. You love who you love, but you don't always love their behaviors, their lifestyle and or their space. 

People with hoarding and cluttering over-accumulating and collecting behaviors or extensive collecting (EC) behaviors have difficulty connecting their behavior to unsafe conditions and lack of well being. They believe they are living just fine. When a close family member or friend attempts to help it is rarely successful. People who engage in (EC) may have some insight into their clutter challenges or no insight at all. Studies by the Institute for Challenging Disorganization indicate family members, and close friends, even loving ones, will be a trigger to increase the (EC) behaviors.  

Not all people with (EC) behaviors come from homes where over-accumulation and collecting took place. After working with over 1200 clients in the past 5 1/2 years I have many hypothesis about why the behaviors perpetuate. 

Here are some of my hypothesis on what causes (EC) based on interviewing over 1200 clients:

1. Our language causes perpetual disorganization
2. A link to a father / child disruption, damaged or broken relationship
3. Feeding schedules during infancy
4. A primitive part of the brain that activates collecting behaviors

 
Mental health challenges such as hoarding disorder, and obsessive compulsive challenges are unusually difficult to treat. They are not illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, major depression, post traumatic syndrome or panic disorder. There are no specific therapies or interventions currently to curb the symptoms and no medications that target the part of the brain stimulating the behaviors. I am certainly not down playing the seriousness of any other mental health challenge but (EC) behaviors are so varied, and with so many different collecting patterns and objects collected, that in some cases the symptoms are simply mind boggling.

One of the clients I helped who was a highly functioning professional started to have symptoms she could not understand. She started putting the toilet seat up and down for hours at a time. She told me that she was in her bathroom without food or water for up to 3-4 hours daily. When asked to symbolize the act of putting the toilet seat up and down she made clear it was not a fear of germs as much as an avoidance of walking through her overly-cluttered home and out the door. She had so many wonderful goals and dreams but the (EC) behaviors and the stuff blocked her from reaching them. Her shame about having clutter overwhelmed her. She did not know how to remedy the piles and piles of belongings she had collected over the years. She was a highly functioning person at work but with a growing mound of clutter in her small apartment she couldn't find her clothes or a place to have a good night's rest. She told me her denial about the collecting finely lifted when she cut herself on some broken glass while climbing into her mound one night to find a place to sleep. She realized the things she collected symbolized a "new" life. After a divorce from the previous year left her bitter and lonely she started to shop for all "new" stuff. She got rid of everything that reminded her of her ex-husband and wanted a fresh new start. The hole left inside her from the divorce was difficult to fill and so she kept shopping and shopping and shopping until her home was filled to the ceiling. Once she was able to go through and choose a reasonable amount of stuff and sell the rest she was able to resume a lifestyle she enjoyed. She started to date again and stopped having compulsive behaviors, recognizing they did not help her at all.

It can be a very mysterious set of circumstances which trigger over-accumulating and collecting behaviors and the solutions are educational and spiritually based. 

Over-accumulation and collecting behaviors are fear based, guilt based and sentimental based. People can start collecting from their mail, grocery items, free newspaper stands, dumpsters or by shopping. Some people collect from relatives that are alive and that have passed. Every case is a unique eye opener.

I helped a man who saved all his egg and milk cartons. There were 1000's of egg and milk cartons in his home. He created a maze of egg and milk cartons. When asked to symbolize the cartons he explained that they could be "useful" and that he felt "shame" in throwing them away. He exclaimed that they were "perfectly created objects." The cartons symbolized "prospects" and "inventions" that he could develop from them. When asked "what are some of your ideas for the cartons?" he claimed he was "working on it." It may not make sense to you or I why he was so bent on creating something out of the cartons, but the important thing was to help him see how they were hurting him. By not focusing on "getting rid" of the cartons and focusing on what he could do with them he found a simple solution. He came to the conclusion that by bringing them to a recycling center he would contribute to society and make some money. After that he continued to donate egg and milk cartons regularly. He also figured out what he truly valued in life, which was to be productive and helpful to others. He found a job at a local health food store and used his knowledge about natural remedies to help people find their way to wellness.

Freud explained over-accumulation with a theory called “object relations,” a personalized view of the object and attachment to the objects based on a person’s relationship to the object.  Jung’s ideas are that the objects are symbols of self, life and perceptions. Helping people focus on the symbolic meaning of their collections is extremely helpful in their parting with them. The work involved in helping people stop (EC) behaviors is unique in every situation, but there are key methods, exercises and techniques I have created that help in the long-term.

The behaviors are generally annoying, scary, tedious, sad and exhausting for family members who attempt to intervene. You are not alone. Most people with (EC) behaviors feel isolated, ashamed, angry, frustrated, lost and ineffective about their space and their motivation to do anything about the mess around themselves. The behaviors are not a way to sabotage you, or an act of being passive aggressive. The (EC) behaviors stem from many different reasons that they cannot always control.  

Over-accumulation and collecting behaviors have been around since time began. In studying "cave" people behaviors there were some that collected more than others. Mental health practitioners, educators and researchers are now becoming more and more interested in the subject to find cures, interventions and therapies specific to the odd behaviors. 

Hoarding disorder is not a term I am fond of. Hoarding is a term for animals. I prefer the term extensive collecting to talk about the subject. It is an International epidemic and there is a help out there for you and your loved one. In each community there are task forces going out to help people that are trapped by their belongings. These forces are not there on a day and night basis or even in an emergency, but with planning and contact they will intervene with your loved one.  

Don't take a family member's hoarding and cluttering lightly.  It is a very serious challenge and can be life threatening. There is always a way to see the light and create a clear path without fighting and harm. Professional Organizers with an expertise in mental health have a lot of techniques and insight to work with situations involving large amounts of clutter.

When someone is living in a pile of trash and stuff so high that they cannot safely move around without falling, or when a fire department refuses to enter a space with too much stuff it is time to intervene. Don't wait until a tragedy occurs. 

Most of the time the task force in your area will consist of a fireman, adult protective worker, city worker, social worker, a professional organizer and volunteers. These groups of people do make house calls. They help people break down the barricades that hold them back from enjoying their ideal lifestyle. I call the barricade of stuff "a self made prison system with a forever pass to go free."

Marla Stone is a mental health consultant and speaker specializing in extensive collecting challenges. You can reach her by email at findorganizer@gmail.com or call now for a free 30 minute phone consultation at 949-709-7000.

Let's face it, renovating a home can be overwhelming and sometimes you may think you're going mad. Working with designers, contractors, along with every buddy having an opinion, at the end of the day you may just want to cry. So let's make it easy for you to figure out what goes in your home.

1. Go with the architecture of the home. When you have a french country home you want tile, paint and furniture that goes with that style. When you purchase a modern home you're not thinking contemporary furniture, you're wanting modern. Contemporary belongs with contemporary. When you have a colonial home you are not going with french provincial, but rather colonial pieces, with a flair of provincial. It first makes sense to buy a home with architecture that you love so the inside matches your taste.  

2. Once you figure out the genre of the home, paint and flooring are the first things to start to figure out. Start with the base of the home and work up to lighting, paint, furniture, decor and artwork. It's elementary my darling.  Flooring options are so many that your head will spin. Let's narrow it down: Wood (real wood, engineered wood, tile that looks like wood and laminate that looks like wood.) Tile (porcelain, ceramic, real stone.)  Carpet (wool or synthetic.) Materials (concrete, cork, vinyl.)  What you choose is ultimately up to you.  It's all in how it looks and feels to you. So go to different flooring shops big and small and touch the flooring and step on it and take pictures of it and ponder it. Don't be hasty since it will be expensive. There are many stores such as Floor and Decor, Home Depot, Lowes, Lumber and tile outlets, mom and pop shops, exclusive shops, downtown shops, and shops on-line.  Get samples to see how it goes in your space before making decisions about what to buy. Bring home the samples and see if it is really what you want and if the house likes it too.

3. Now paint. Go to your favorite paint store, Dunn Edwards, Vista, Sherwin Williams, Home Depot, Lowes, independent, local, expert retailer stores, or go on-line and start looking at colors. Do you want blues, oranges, yellows, browns, black, beiges, white, green, reds, or fifty shades of grey?  Figure out what soothes and moves you. Once you narrow down the category of colors you like and for which rooms you like them in, buy samples of paint.  Start with a few and then just keep going until you have an ah hah moment. It's not a cheap or easy process, but painting the samples on your walls will let you know what you can and cannot live with. If you don't want to mucky up the walls use a piece of white paper or cardboard taped onto the wall. Don't pick too many colors and make the house all choppy with different paint. Don't go too wild and make your eyes bug out every time you walk into the kitchen. Subtle colors for the bedrooms help you sleep better and bolder colors in small bathrooms or laundry rooms is my rule. Choose a theme of colors that foster a flow through your home.

4. Finding contractors.  Referral, referral, referral. Don't go too cheap or too high. Look at reviews on-line. Talk to your neighbors to see who worked for them. Do your research. Get recent references. I made the mistake of getting 3 past references for a flooring guy only to realize they were from years ago and not current. Blunder after blunder the guy finally told me he had lost his wife and started doing drugs. He was a nice enough guy but he had become a mess, therefore he created chaos in my home.

5. Be on-site at all times or have someone who knows design, like a designer or a family member who will keep close watch on the work. Workman don't want someone breathing down their neck, but guess what either does your kid, but that doesn't mean you are not watching and checking on him or her regularly. Contractors or whoever you hire often leave incompetent workers on their own. So poke your nose into your masterpiece anytime you want to.  Speak up if you see something that bothers you or you know is cockamamie.

6. Furniture is all about matching the architecture. You can be somewhat eclectic but you want a flow to the structure and all that is in it. So figure out what the house would have in it if a top designer were to do the design. Let the architecture and setting of your home dictate the style. Throwing in asian pieces, or modern or antique pieces here and there in any architecture is fine but the base furniture style wants to have a theme. Find furnishings, paintings and decor on Craigslist, Facebook furniture groups and consignment stores to save some money. I have found expensive, quality pieces by shopping "green." As long as what you buy is not trendy, it is real wood and high quality you will be happier than buying cheap "good looking" pieces. When you want new items hire an interior designer to help you. Designers get great deep discounts at all the large stores and from manufacturers. Find a designer who will pass the savings onto you.

Marla Stone is a design and decor expert founded in the art of Feng Shui. Her company Decor and more for Less is at www.orangecountydecorators.com  She works in the United States, Europe and Canada helping people get real with what they want and then she finds the deal.  Call 949-709-7000 for a free 15 minute phone consultation with a decor specialist.