Our language, I believe whole heartedly is the key to our disorganized behaviors.  How is language linked to behavior you may ask?  The answer is quite simple.  We, as humans are part computer.  Whatever comes out of your mouth is the input into the computer of your driver, which in psychological terms is the subconscious process.  The subconscious part of us processes our verbalization and actually puts into motion our behavior.  We are not very complicated human beings until you get to spirit, soul, God, or whatever you believe brought us here in the first place, evolution, spark, being or whatever you may want to call it.  It is the intangible part that is more complicated.  Other than that we are flesh, emotion and brain.  The brain is where language comes from, and what we speak is the code to create behavior.

When someone uses improper language sentences the brain accepts it immediately.   The message arrives also immediately to the subconscious or driver part of our brain, and our being as well, and those parts either accept what we say or it rejects what we say, good or bad.

So there are three key language challenges occurring on a regular basis which is confusing the driver part of us, freezing our will to the very core of ourselves, creating severe procrastination, follow-through challenges, diminished motivation and a sense of futility for reaching goals and dreams.

1. Confusion between need phrases such as a "I need", "I have to", "I must" and "I gotta" versus "I want" and "I will".  

We use "I need" phrases so frequently and for things that are not necessity so much that we believe everything is a need.  Need actually means necessity - air, food, water, sleep, shelter, elimination and sunlight, the 7 essential things that keep us alive.  Everything else is a "want" or "don't want", a "will" or a "won't.  

We start most sentences with "I need" or "I have to" or "I must" or "I gotta".  In a matter of a 10 minute conversation we say, on average, 10 "I Need" statements.  We have eliminated, altogether, "I will" phrases or even "I want" phrases.  "I'm going to" is also a "will" statement.

Need phrases cause extreme pressure on our emotional bodies, creating frenzied and overwhelmed feelings.  Need phrases also cause humans to NOT focus or fulfill actual needs of improved breathing, nutrition, fluid intake, dressing properly, living clutter and dust free, eliminating bowels and urinary tract regularly and healthily and we are vitamin D deprived according to doctors across the world.

2. We use indecisive language every two to three sentences.  "I tried" or "i'll try" being the most used indecisive statements.  Other indecisive statements most common now are "kinda", "sorta", "if", "but", "when", "probably". "maybe", "soon", "I'll think about it", "we'll see", "someday", "sometime", "most likely", "should", and "could".  

We use indecisive language because we have not realized whether we want to do something, or not, or whether we want something or not.  We, as humans, are not well thought out beings.  We rarely know what we value in life until we slow down and think about our true purpose, dreams and goals.

Indecisive language causes confusion about what we truly value in life, our goals not being fulfilled, incomplete projects, wear and tear on the emotional body, decreased motivation and procrastination.

3. We do not use adjectives or "feeling words" any longer.  We say "I feel like" or "I feel that" followed by a thought.  We are afraid to share feelings and disguise our feelings as thoughts.  We are afraid to actually say what we know or even what we think and disguise it as a feeling, but without the actual feeling.

This lack of identifying and naming feelings, or saying what we know or think has created a very robotic type of human, going through life without lots of opinions but no actual solid belief system that we voice.  We also are extremely disconnected from human feelings.  Feelings are like nature.  Feelings do not stop coming but we negate them by not naming and processing the feelings, we simply form an opinion about who we believe caused them.  It is a form of not owning feelings.  It is a form of not recognizing where the feeling first originated.

Change your language and change your behavior patterns from being chronically disorganized to being chronically organized.   Call 949-709-7000 for a free language coaching session and to learn more about I-Deal-Lifestyle's proprietary methods for getting and staying organized long-term.

​We serve orange county, los angeles, san diego, san francisco and beyond.  Call for more information about www.i-deal-lifestyle.com

Home, house, condo, apartment, bungalow, townhouse, studio or office building, home office, your kitchen, garage, kid's room, living rooms, craft room, sewing room or whatever room or space you dwell in we organize it to the bone for you.  Orange County Professional Organizers - www.i-deal-lifestyle.com gets the job done quickly and efficiently.   We love to de-clutter your space so that you can live as if you are in the nicest hotel suite of your life.  

The inner you craves a "Design on the Dime" approach to getting your home up to speed with the "in" colors, look and appeal.  Your furniture, accessories and lighting in the home may be just a bit blah, blah, blah and so why not get a lifestyle lift and have your home decluttered, categorized and decorated.  Decorating, interior design, furniture placement, new furniture does not have to be expensive.  Check out www.orangecountydecorators.com for inexpensive home and or office uplifts.  Decor and More for Less helps find pieces you love while off-loading pieces you don't love anymore.  They give your home new fresh color, not with expensive paint but inexpensive pillows and decor.  The home or office space will take on a whole new look and design sometimes by just moving furniture around, re-purposing items you already own, getting some throw pillows and colorful decor pieces.  Voila a whole new look and space for under $1000.00.   The doldrums will set in when your space is dull.  Your taste generally changes every 8-10 years so what you look around and see may not even reflect the new you.

Understanding what you love is easy by going on https://images.google.com and typing in living room, bedroom, children's room, organized garage, kitchen, laundry room, home office, office etc..  Find the photos that you LOVE, not just what you say hmmm to.  The images that you love will jump up and take your breath away.

Clutter is the first thing to go in the space, and I don't mean out the door. I-Deal-Lifestyle Organizers help you organize the clutter into categories first, then you look through your stuff to determine what will be kept, then the items you don't want can go to charity, become gifts, or sold.  Next all the kept items get contained and then we find homes for your categories.  Simple and fast organizing takes a strong method.  I-Deal-Lifestyle has created a method that works long term so you will remain organized all on your own.

After the clutter is contained we look at your sad decor and help you re-decorate using items you have and then when we realize you could lose or use some of the furniture / knick knacks we make suggestions to create an extremely attractive space for you, family, friends and or roommates.

We love taking on small or grand spaces.  We use the same theories and methods with all of our clients to help y0u get clear on whether you have had "enough of your stuff".

Marla Stone, Professional Organizer, Decor and Feng Shui Specialist, Author, Educator, Lifestyle Coach
www.i-deal-lifestyle.com offers Residential / Corporate Design, Organization, Education
Call 949-709-7000 for a free 30 minute phone consultation
​Get Through Your Stuff Now!