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Tips for #2021 by Marla Stone

12/21/2020

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Lots of Tips and Suggestions From Life Organizer Marla Stone, MSW for 2021


  • Shop Green, and recycle. It is better for the planet. You can find most of what you want in Thrift Stores, consignment or on-line sales groups.
  • Sell, drop off or barter with the stuff you don’t want.
  • It is better to give than receive. Don’t forget that.
  • Go to Therapy and or Get a Life Coach. Two heads are better than one head.
  • Stop blaming others or past situations and stay in the NOW, and the KNOW
  • You cannot change the past, but you can heal it.
  • Your present self, health, and thoughts are the home where you live. It is your consciousness that is your home.
  • Get organized; it will not only clear your space; it will clear your mind. Mind Clutter is a vicious cycle. Cluttered mind, cluttered space, cluttered mind, cluttered space.
  • Get along better with yourself and you will see magic form in all of your relationships
  • If you disagree with another person, there is a way to resolve it without getting steamed up. Sharing your feelings and validating the other person for their feelings will settle down a negative situation.
  • If you have a difficult problem with yourself, there are traditionally two opposing aspects of creating self fighting. Realize fighting with yourself is futile.
  • Share your feelings with yourself and validate yourself. EX: I feel misunderstood, bullied, manipulated, and I am a strong and capable person who will compromise and be flexible.
  • If you are upset with someone or something and have negative things to say, take that finger and point it towards yourself. Usually, if you can see the negative in someone else, it is because that trait is in you
  • Check yourself to see if you meet criteria for a personality disorder
  • http://www.depression-guide.com/personality-disorders.htm
  • Eat healthily. Look at all the products in your pantry and pull and out and trash anything with corn syrup, chemicals, hydrogenated oils of any kind, and ingredients you can’t pronounce.
  • Identify, products high in salt, and sugar content, products with food dye. You can’t believe how much dye is in children’s cereals and cookies.
  • Eat citrus fruit daily, decrease consumption of flesh, and increase intake of vegetables.
  • Get a healthy water system installed in your home and drink healthy filtered water. Remember, skinny does not always mean healthy. Being overweight, though, is not healthy
  • Exercise, even if it is difficult or inconvenient
  • Decrease alcohol intake and smoking or work on eliminating addiction challenges.
  • Check and see if you meet the criteria for an addiction http://www.sis.indiana.edu/DSM-IV-Criteria.aspx
  • Meet with friends and family as much as possible, as long as they are supportive. People closest to you, your support system, usually know you better than you know yourself. If you are isolating, get a mental health checkup.
  • Identify toxic people who put you down, create chaos, and who have issues with greed, vanity, anger, lust, or unhealthy boundaries.
  • Have some spiritual connection, and practice being spiritual regularly in life. If you are confused about your belief system, talk it out with someone until you get it straight. Being uncertain about whether there is a God and or a Higher Power is like living in limbo. Until you get some clear ideas about why and how we are here on this planet, living in a body, you will unlikely be clear about anything else.
  • Have one day per week with only positive thoughts. Every time you think negatively, tap yourself on the shoulder and say “stop,” and resume thinking positively by replacing the negative thought with an opposite positive thought. So if you say to yourself, “oh, I’m so stupid,” replace it with “I’m a super smart and capable person”. You will be amazed at how negative self-talk can bring down your ego system, causing anxiety and hostility towards self and others, and how positive self-talk will raise your self-esteem.


Have an excellent 2021


Marla Stone, MSW is a Professional Organizer/Lifestyle
Coach, Decor, and Feng Shui Specialist.
www.i-deal-lifestyle.com
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Transitioning Gracefully Into 2021 by Marla Stone, MSW

12/21/2020

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Okay, well, it looks like you will make it into 2021 with or without a “hitch.” If you compare life to a pomegranate seed, it can be bitter and sweet at the same time. But if you didn’t have the bitter, you also wouldn’t know the sweet, now would you. You can NEVER get rid of ALL the chaos in your life, but I will offer some things to make it sweeter for 2021. 

Since it is a New Year, most of us have a conscious or unconscious desire to improve ourselves. You may have even written a list of resolutions. I love the word resolution. Simply, it means to re-solve areas of our lives that are not working. 

One of my favorite sayings as a former psychotherapist was, “So how is that working for you”? I used that phrase when people would go over and over the negative aspects of their lives, as if talking fervently about their woes would somehow solve self and life issues. Rarely does just talking change or transform something that bothers us. It is the action that follows the thought that will change behavior and lives. Even cognitive restructuring, a popular therapy technique, is just a band-aid if a new activity doesn’t occur. So definitely write out the list of things you wanted to accomplish in January 2021, not only something you want to change but what you genuinely want to see manifest in your life.

With all the wisdom and ideas I collected throughout the years, I will share a list of my favorites with you. I will also talk about ideas for improved health, wealth, and lifestyle in this article.

Ideas and Thoughts for
2021

  • When you push, you fall. Take the path of least resistance to meet your goals
  • Work on relationships that will be fruitful, supportive, and kind 
  • Mend damaged relationships that are worthy
  • Eliminate toxic relationships with people who will not change.
  • Become more organized in a long-term way
  • Eat healthier food
  • Become more homeopathic and naturopathic in healing illnesses.
  • Create a happy you
  • Be more positive. The Glass is overflowing instead of empty
  • Design something beautiful in your home or office
  • Get caught up on paperwork
  • Figure out a system for incoming mail and papers
  • Exercise every day
  • Be innovative in your approach to friends and colleagues
  • Improve communication skills
  • Be a better lover of your self and your partner, friends, and family
  • There are rules to relationships. Make them and enforce them

People change when people want to change or perhaps “see the light.” 

You could wait a whole lifetime for a person “to change,” but it doesn’t mean they will. You could wait for your entire life to change yourself, but you only change when something changes.

It takes WILL to change! Most people who are “toxic” are usually in the mindset that they are entitled and perfect, and therefore they do not believe that change is necessary. Toxic people may not have the will to “see the light” since it would be overwhelming to realize how much time and effort it would take to change their ways. The type of person that thinks of self first puts self first is called a “frenemy.” Often they do not see their demise. They wonder why things do not work out for themselves, blaming others for their life blunders.

Living like a hamster in a wheel, going round and round is a crazy-making process. You end up going nowhere. Get out of your rut and groove and change it up. Stop the wheel, get off, create goals, and work on achieving them.

Admit what doesn’t work for you in 2021 by using the decision making
chart in my previous blog to identify a new coping strategy
to change what does not work. Decision-Making Chart http://www.i-deal-lifestyle.com/1/post/2011/10/how-to-make-difficult-decisions-by-marla-stone.html

Have a wonderful and safe and happy and healthy holiday season and happy new year!
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How to Mindfully Declutter when Moving

12/21/2020

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There may never be a perfect time for decluttering your home’s environment as it is usually time-consuming and can often be stressful. Although considering that we encounter many obstacles and changes throughout our lives, this often encourages improvement. 

Over time, it seems easier to forget about our items building up as we put them in storage and set them aside in our rooms. The activity of decluttering doesn’t have to be a time-consuming chore. Make it a rewarding experience as you move into your beautiful new home by gifting and donating belongings you don’t need as well as simply tossing items of no value. 

Whether you’re someone who’s lost track of organizing their things, have a hobby of collecting, or even someone who just loves all their stuff, there are helpful ways to help you live a more balanced life. Keep possible emotional, physical, and psychological effects in mind as you take the steps to finish decluttering before moving. Being aware of any of these aspects and working through them will undoubtedly help you reach a refreshed lifestyle. 

Unpacking in Your New Home
Before you move, you’ll want to take the time to decide what you actually want to unpack into your new, open spaces. This is the best time to remove all forgotten and unused items from your old lifestyle before they enter your new one. 

When you begin, ask yourself what each item’s worth is to you and your health. Don’t think twice about certain things such as food storage containers without lids, expired foods, or damaged items that cannot be repaired. If these things cannot be repurposed, then put them in the trash without worrying about it anymore. 

For some friendly and supportive advice, you can use specific techniques in The Clutter Remedy: A Guide To Getting Organized For Those Who Love Their Stuff by Marla Stone, MSW to help you make good decisions about what to pack up and move. This book will even guide you through organizing what you have and want to keep to create functional spaces you’ll love wherever you are. 

Minimize Stress 
Avoid overthinking about different kinds of decluttering strategies; there is no “right” strategy to start. To easily keep track of everything, you can organize items by category. If they hold true sentimental value and bring happiness, keep them. Otherwise, you can then decide how you want to get rid of the items.

Make the process less stressful by taking breaks as well as asking for help from your friends, family members, and our residential declutter services to assist you. We can help with a wide variety of focuses in regards to sorting, creating space, selling items, recycling, and even our handyman services. Our goal is to guide you in practical ways to your ideal lifestyle by becoming free of clutter and disorder while promoting emotional freedom. The situation of decluttering and moving can cause you to forget about some of the other things going on in life, but there are many resources here to help you succeed. 

It’s important to stay conscious of your budget, especially if you’re moving around a holiday. Balancing costs such as moving services, professional cleanings, repairs, and upcoming bills can easily add up if you’re not paying close attention and easily strain your financial situation. Consider looking into a fixed-rate low interest loan, such as a home equity loan, on your current home to help cover these expenses. A home equity loan doesn’t have any requirements as to how you use them, so long as you pay them back within the timeframe of the loan. A loan like that can drastically lower the financial and emotional stress of moving, giving you less worries of the risk of falling into debt.

Recycle, Repurpose, and Donate to Charity
Rather than feeling guilty about throwing your items away, consider repurposing, donating to charity, and simply recycling or even upcycling. This way you can feel much less guilt about how much stuff you throw away and don’t have to worry about it sitting in a landfill somewhere.

If you have nice clothing, jewelry, home decor, antiques, books, DVDs, CDs, collections, and working electronics or appliances that you just don’t use anymore, this can be a perfect opportunity to gift them away, or simply give them away to friends and family. You can also consider donating items similar to these to charity. There are still many organizations accepting a variety of donations during this time including the Salvation Army, Goodwill, MedSupplyDrive, the Humane Society, Feeding America, and even more. 

Recycling certain things can support a great cause and help the Earth’s sustainability. Recycling benefits the environment in a number of ways and going green can be inspiring to practice. Learn about what common household items you can recycle and how so that you can start removing it all from your spaces more efficiently. 

Sell & Downsize
Before getting set up in your new home with your new, refreshed lifestyle, make sure the only large items that you take with you are practical. Furniture frequently falls into this category, and if you have a big couch or too many chairs, ask yourself how often these will all be used, or if all of it will fit in your new house. If you don’t live with many people and don’t have visitors over often, or if you have smaller spaces, then this is your opportunity to downsize items like these. 

The online marketplace can sometimes be discouraging during the selling process, but you can still get lucky and find someone willing to make the trade. Place your furniture or other big home items for sale online with Craigslist, Facebook groups, or other websites where you can meet with locals. You can even have a garage sale for a possibly quicker sale of everything within a few days. 

When you downsize and purchase more fitting furniture for your new home, don’t get lost in large retail company deals and upsells. This can risk going over your budget and hurting your credit score. Instead, purchase furniture and decor locally from online groups, consignment, and thrift shops. Plus, scoring a secondhand gem for a fraction of its original cost is a motivating feeling.

Get Started on Decluttering Your Lifestyle Now
Once you’re finally done, you can even take practices you’ve learned to the next level by applying home style trends like Feng Shui, which will continue to help you keep your home life balanced. This particular focus is said to improve aspects of your life, such as wealth, fame, recognition, love and relationships, family harmony, good health, creativity, skills, and knowledge. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself adapting home trends to continue balancing your lifestyle. 

Whether your move is happening soon or not for a long time, it’s never too early to start decluttering now. In addition, decluttering helps your home make a strong first impression which makes the selling process easy for buyers. Focus on living more with less stuff, and how you can continue to maintain it. By doing so, not only are you organizing and crafting optimal surroundings, but you are also learning more about yourself and your own values to fully create your ideal lifestyle. 
​
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​How To Choose A Professional Organizer in Your Area Who Truly Knows What They Are Doing        Marla Stone

12/17/2020

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Many organizers show up in every part of the country, wanting to get into your sock drawer and organize your pants, shoes, office, makeup, kitchen, kids toys, garage, and your life? Yet, are they qualified to do so? Since there are no mandatory licensing or certifications to become a professional organizer, how do you know who to choose? How do you know who is who, and what is what in the professional decluttering arena? It is simple. 

Managing and pushing a clutter-free life is a big business. Whether the "professional" organizers are in Orange County or Colorado, Nebraska, or Florida, professional organizers have multiplied by the thousands in every city and state. Everyone and their mother is calling themselves a professional organizer. Don't fret; there is a way to get some help, confidently, and without reserve.

Suppose you are one of the many that still have not gotten uber-organized. How do you pick an honest, dependable, knowledgeable, and experienced professional person to organize, declutter, and figure out your space? The answer is easy, use your gut instincts first, do an internet check for reviews, interview, and look at the person's credentials. There is a subjective and objective way to look for the perfect home and business organizer.

A real professional organizer will have clear and concise criteria for what to keep in your life. A beneficial book, and possibly a book that will help you "do-it-yourself," called The Clutter Remedy: A Guide To Getting Organized For Those Who Love Their Stuff, will be a starting point for your reference of how to organize optimally and professionally. The book, by former social worker/psychotherapist Marla Stone, describes the best way to organize your life, stuff, and space. The Clutter Remedy strategy all happens in a short period, and you learn how to stay organized, long-term. The criteria Stone developed create a seamless, effortless way to choose what to keep in your life and what to toss, without regrets or angst.

The Clutter Remedy book talks about using criteria to choose what to keep and gives a precise reason for how clutter begins and how to end all the clutter cycles. So, in essence, you stop the human in the hamster wheel syndrome: going from clearing and putting everything away to ultimately going back to clutter. 

When deciding to go with someone calling themselves a "professional" organizer, meet with them before hiring and get a sense of their personality. You want to hire someone you feel comfortable working with, whatever their expertise. 

To me, the most important traits to look for in a professional organizer are:

Kindness
Empathy
A non-judgmental attitude
Good communication skills
A positive demeanor
Goal-oriented

You want someone flexible, creative, and adaptable, especially when there are more severe over-collecting and over-accumulation challenges.

When you finally have picked the correct person to work with, make a plan, select a date, and buy supplies that will contain your things to create ample space. Next, get your yoga wear on, hydrate, and get to work, or at least be prepared to work side by side with the professional you choose.

Also, I highly recommend before starting the project that you read or listen to The Clutter Remedy: A Guide To Getting Organized For Those Who Love Their Stuff. It is a fast read and will tell you how organizing is supposed to be accomplished for a quick and long-term solution to clutter.

Marla Stone, MSW, Professional Organizer is located in Orange County, Ca
www.i-deal-lifestyle.com
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    Marla

    Here you will find an array of blog articles about decluttering your home, life and how to improve your  business strategy

    Marla is known as the Declutter Your Strategy™ expert. Marla earned her BA in Psychology and a Master's in Social Work and is the founder of
    ​I-Deal-Lifestyle Inc., A Strategy Improvement Company. Services include Decluttering, Training & Development and Coaching. Marla is also the Author of The Clutter Remedy: A Guide To Getting Organized For Those Who Love Their Stuff

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