Learning New Skills
Communicate The Rules, Guidelines, Responsibilities and Consequences for Negative Behavior With Your Child, Formally
Your child thrives on knowing what is expected of them. They love boundaries. It tells them their safe.
Discussion & Signing
Next is discussing the Rules, Guidelines, Responsibilities and Consequences and getting feedback from each child individually. Then having them sign what is agreed upon.
During this difficult period of sequestering, kids can become easily distracted, unfocused and difficult or disrespectful. When they start to misbehave, act out and are having appetite or sleep disturbance it is a good idea to start fresh on the rules, guidelines of the house and their behavior, responsibilities and the consequences for negative behavior. Consequences are take aways such as no phone, video games or television.
To be fair to your child getting everything listed on a chart helps everyone to understand what is expected.
Create a Chart with headings below and create lists under each category.
RULES RESPONSIBILITIES CONSEQUENCES
ONCE THE LISTS ARE AGREED UPON, HAVE THE CHILD SIGN THEIR CHART.
Sharing Feelings About Negative Behaviors and Validating Your Child In A Respectful Way
USING ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION BY SHARING FEELINGS AND VALIDATING YOUR CHILD WHEN NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS OCCUR WILL STOP BAD BEHAVIOR WITHIN WEEKS.
When your child breaks rules, doesn’t fulfill their responsibilities it is time to warn them about the consequences. Giving your child a warning before taking the phone, video games, or tv programs away is only fair. Using assertive communication is the way to do it. Using “I feel” statements followed by assertive communication as described in “The Clutter Remedy: A Guide To Getting Organized For Those Who Love Their Stuff” is the simplest way to stop bad behavior in its tracks.
The Clutter Remedy Assertive Communication Strategy
Creating Good Behavior
“When you tell a child they’re bad they will be bad. When you tell a child they’re good they will be good.” Marla Stone, MSW
The Clutter Remedy is a book I wrote to help people declutter negative emotions, clear and heal old wounds, and of course organize their homes and offices. The book shares easy strategies to stay organized and most importantly how to communicate as a family while sharing space respectfully. When there is inner chaos there will be outer chaos. The way a home is set up and kept is a reflection of the inner self.
In the book I describe a strategy for communicating in a way that will change negative behavior into positive behavior within a weeks time. It is uncanny how it works and very effective especially for children. Here are some positive and negative examples of what this will sound like. Imagine a parent and child in which the parent is frustrated by a mess that is largely made by the child. Using assertive language and validation, the frustrated parent can say:
I feel upset about the piles of paper all over the living room. I would like the papers to be moved elsewhere, so the living room remains neat. I know you are working hard and you are tired and have been working hard on your homework. I love you and know that you have good intentions and want an orderly home, too. In this example, the parent first describes their feelings using an “I” statement, rather than a “you” statement (such as, “you make me upset when . . .”). Using assertive language, the parent describes the reason for their feelings and the preferred outcome. Then they shift to validation: The parent expresses caring and understanding of the child, and validates the child’s good intentions. When a particular challenge can’t be immediately resolved, you will become more assertive in a respectful way and start to establish and maintain the boundaries and ultimately give out the consequences. Getting everyone on track and on the organizing train, and to be the conductor of their own life, takes insight, creative strategy, and know-how.
Order The Clutter Remedy Book Now
Many people who call me for Professional Organizing Services are also interested in Feng Shui. Most people I encounter do not really know too much about Feng Shui, but they appear mystified by the thought of it. Some people say "I'm not interested in Feng Shui". Interestingly though the people who have "gone for it" usually have the best experiences when I follow up with them.
I get many calls from clients months after they have been Feng Shui'd exclaiming the successes and changes in their lives. Some clients are getting divorced and have to downsize, others are going through short sales and have to move quickly and want to have us pack, many people have moved and want to be unpacked. Some clients are decor challenged and have furniture to and fro and pictures in upper right hand corners of their walls. I always say O.M.M (oh my my) what were you thinking?? Some people have ADD Attention Deficit Disorder or ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Everyone has a reason to call a Professional Organizer, but usually the client is "missing" something in life or there is an imbalance of some kind.
After organizing one client's bedroom, and moving her bed to the center of the room, with two end tables on each side, instead of the bed being squished against a wall, she has become more balanced, claimed her love life is more fulfilling and has expanded her business three fold. Another client has told me that her life will never be the same since we organized and Feng Shui'd her. She said that she felt "joy and peace for the first time in years". Other clients that I spoke with claimed better health, increased wealth, better socialization, more fame and recognition, a hotter sex life, increased desire to go back to school, better job opportunities, stability, and more.
Rather then just moving furniture around, cleaning out your pantry and closets, using baskets and finding a home for everything, Feng Shui stirs up new and exciting energy in your self and space. Energy or Chi can become stagnant and stale sitting aimlessly in your home or office.
You may wonder why you have so many fake people or clients in your life?
Look around and count how many fake plants are in your space. Is it difficult to see your self, life and others clearly? Maybe the window washer needs a call? Imagine why your romance has died and gone to heck? Look in your Love and Romance corner of your home or office and see blocked areas, dried flowers or absolutely no objects symbolizing Love. Figured out why the money has stopped flowing in steadily? Look at your Prosperity corner and notice that there are no round shaped leafy plants, purple and blue objects and MONEY! Yes, just putting money in your Prosperity corner can bring the gold coins in. Has your Health turned to sour grapes.?
Put some fresh fruit and a growing plant in or near your Health Bagua. Is your Children and Creativity area in your laundry room? You'll figure out that your Children and your Creativity will feel washed out and dry. Yet there is a Feng Shui Fix for every area of your home and your life.
Does the Career area of your home reflect your growing career and aspects of the Career that you want to enhance? No, well that is why the career department might be hurting. When was the last time you Traveled to a bucket list destination? If the Wise People and Travel area of your home is enhanced with travel destinations, a few angels and Wise People symbols you just might be going on that trip to____________. Have your skills and knowledge gone to pot?
Let's beef up that area with books and ideas that you want to bring into your repertoire.
Are you having difficulty with a particular family member and want some resolve?
Let's put up some pictures of that person in your family area and objects symbolizing unity to build up that relationship. How about some recognition for what you would like to be famous for? Hanging awards and putting some spiky plants and bright flashy colors can really get the phone ringing and bring on the applause.
Bottom line each and every Bagua (nine separate Baqua's in your home represent a different source of meaning and energy for you) must be Feng Shui'd often in order to have continuing change and new events occuring in your life. It is not a one time deal, but something you want to engage in when certain aspects of your life require a Small or Dramatic Change.
Call Marla Stone for a free 30 minute phone consultation and to learn more about getting a Feng Shui Fix!! Feng Shui can be done on Skype as well. Call for details!!!
You have always done everything yourself. Moving, packing, unpacking, decorating, organizing your kitchen, the kids rooms, the garage, were all tasks that you pushed yourself to accomplish, never even thinking of asking for help. We are so distant from relatives today, and don't want to inconvenience friends, so we end up doing so much on our own. Marla the owner of I-Deal-Lifestyle was totally guilty of this push, push, push behavior. She prided myself on being the dynamo woman who could do it all. Looking back if Marla had known she could call on someone to help her get organized and situated she would have been dialing away.
Prior to becoming a Professional Organizer Marla really had not been aware of the "profession". She saw a few shows about hoarding, and heard the term "Professional Organizer", but never thought of it in terms of a personal service that you could call upon. She explains "I thought the term Professional Organizer linked only to the serious hoarding situations." It wasn't until she retired as a Social Worker/Therapist and was soul searching to a new career, feeling completely turned upside down, and disorganized that Stone started searching out books on how to get organized. "I bought book after book, signed up for newsletters from Professional Organizers, and started plowing through the material." One day a message from a Professional Organizer out of England popped up on her email. All of a sudden it hit her, "I'm supposed to be a Professional Organizer."
Marla exclaims "For heaven's sake I had been a very organized Clinician, keeping two offices alive for ten years, billing insurance companies, keeping track of clients and their lives, and helping others get themselves organized." It was a perfect fit for her, and explains "it felt like doing old fashioned "Social Work.""
The old fashioned Social Worker, before licensing and all the rules and ethical
boundaries, was a man or woman, who visited families in search of care, usually
with a fruit basket. They were called "friendly visitors". They were hired by
the family to come in and help other men and women get back on their feet. The
"friendly visitor" would go into the home and help in any way possible to put
things back in order. They would lift the person out of bed, help them get
dinner ready or wash some clothes just to start the ball rolling again. It was
the kindness, caring and nurturing ways of these visitors that brought life back
into the family member who had been down and out.
Organizers help empty nesters to single mothers get their lives organized. They help business owners and employees to increase productivity, with time management and where to put the cubicles or desks. They help with organizing kid's schedules, toys, papers, garages, pantry's, laundry rooms. The I-Deal-Lifestyle organizers take it to a whole new level which is called UBER organizing where everything that can be organized gets organized "to the bone."
Professional organizing is the best luxury gift you can give yourself. The team at I-Deal-Lifestyle can organize your space in half the time of industry standards so you can literally organize every nook and cranny of your home and office in one - three days.
The owner Marla Stone says it is like an "abracadabra moment." "To see the before and after pics of each job is like we have performed magic," Stone explains.
Professional Organizers are the friendly visitors of today. We are there so you don’t have to push yourself to pack, unpack, move, clean out your garage, organize your kitchen, closets, decorate, do errands and shop if that is just not in the cards for you. We are there to teach you how to organize, coach you and fix up your house, simple. So stop pushing and call a local professional organizer and GET ORGANIZED NOW!
Call Marla Stone at 949-709-7000 for a free 30 minute phone consultation.
We also do Feng Shui and are Décor Specialists!!
Here you will find an array of blog articles about decluttering your home, life and business strategy
Marla is known as the Declutter Your Strategy™ expert. Marla earned her BA in Psychology and a Master's in Social Work and is the founder of