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When Someone You Love Refuses Mental Health Treatment and Medication By Marla Stone, MSW

3/10/2026

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When someone you love refuses mental health treatment or medication, families often interpret the situation as stubbornness or lack of cooperation. The more accurate explanation involves misunderstanding, incomplete diagnosis, and lack of insight into symptoms.
One major factor is anosognosia, a neurological condition involving lack of insight into one’s illness. Anosognosia prevents a person from recognizing that symptoms are present. The individual experiences the symptoms yet does not identify them as part of an illness. Because insight is absent, treatment and medication are rejected.
During my seventeen years as a psychiatric social worker and psychotherapist, another pattern appeared repeatedly: misdiagnosis and incomplete diagnosis lead directly to treatment non-adherence.
Individuals frequently receive a diagnosis without receiving full education about the symptoms connected to that diagnosis. In many situations the person receives only part of the diagnostic picture. Medication improves certain symptoms while other symptoms continue.
When symptoms continue, the individual concludes that medication does not work and stops taking it.
A common example occurs when someone receives a diagnosis of bipolar disorder while also experiencing symptoms of a personality disorder. Medication stabilizes mania and depression. Medication does not treat personality disorder patterns. Mood symptoms improve while interpersonal instability, impulsivity, anger, or relationship disruption continues. The person then concludes that the diagnosis is incorrect or that medication is ineffective.
This pattern produces treatment non-adherence.
Another example involves obsessive compulsive disorder. Medication reduces anxiety and depression associated with OCD. Medication does not directly stop compulsive behaviors such as checking, counting, or repetitive rituals. Without education about this distinction, individuals conclude that treatment failed.
These situations occur because diagnostic education is often incomplete. Many clinicians identify the most visible symptoms while other diagnostic patterns remain unexplained to the individual receiving treatment.
When people do not understand their symptoms, they cannot understand their diagnosis. When the diagnosis remains unclear, adherence to treatment declines.
During years of clinical practice, a different outcome appeared whenever individuals gained clear understanding of their symptoms and diagnoses. When people recognize the exact symptoms they experience and understand how medication targets those symptoms, participation in treatment increases and stability improves.
This observation led to the development of Self Impressionism: A Medication and Treatment Alliance and Awareness Program for the Prevention of Misdiagnosis.
Self Impressionism is a structured educational workbook program designed to help individuals identify and understand their symptoms. The program guides participants through exercises that reveal patterns in mood, behavior, thinking, perception, and daily functioning.
Participants learn to:
• identify their symptoms clearly
• distinguish symptoms from medication side effects
• recognize emotional and behavioral triggers
• understand how medication interacts with specific symptoms
• communicate symptoms accurately to clinicians
The workbook includes structured exercises such as symptom awareness checklists, life pattern exercises, decision charts, and visual awareness tools. These exercises allow participants to recognize the full scope of their experiences and to describe them clearly to clinicians.
A clear symptom description leads to a more accurate diagnosis. Accurate diagnosis leads to more effective treatment decisions and stronger adherence to medication when symptoms are present.
Self Impressionism functions as both a personal awareness program and a clinical teaching program.
The program serves several groups:
• individuals seeking understanding and self-awareness about their mental health challenges
• families who want to understand their loved ones and provide informed support
• psychiatric hospitals
• behavioral health treatment programs
• outpatient mental health clinics
• residential recovery programs
• community mental health centers
• peer support and family education programs
Psychiatric staff and behavioral health programs use the Self Impressionism workbook as a structured teaching program that helps individuals understand symptoms, diagnoses, and treatment. Increased understanding strengthens the alliance between individuals and their treatment providers.
Families often struggle when a loved one rejects treatment. Understanding the roles of symptoms, misdiagnosis, and anosognosia helps families understand why treatment resistance occurs and how support and education improve outcomes.
Self Impressionism workshops take place this summer at community centers throughout South Orange County.
Individuals, families, and professionals interested in attending can request an invitation.
Visit:
www.i-deal-lifestyle.com to find a Self Impressionism workshop near you. Fill out the contact form, and we will send you an invitation.
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Seasonal Transitions: From Winter To Spring and Suicide Warning Signs by Marla Stone, MSW

3/2/2026

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There are officially two dates when spring starts. One is meteorological, generally early March, and the other is astronomical, usually on March 20th or the 21st. Daylight Saving Time begins around mid-March, changing the light and our sleep at the same time. Spring also brings Nowruz, the Persian New Year, Easter, Passover, and the spring equinox.

The transition from winter to spring can be compared to emerging from the caves into sunshine, light breezes, dancing flowers, bloom, and fragrance. Or it can be dragging yourself out slowly, grumpily, yawning and rubbing your eyes while the world is ready to celebrate. Not everyone glides into a new season without mood shifts, sleep disturbance, agitation, or heaviness.

​Seasonal shifts affect mental wellness. The body adjusts to longer days whether we think about it or not. Light increases. Sleep patterns change. Hormones recalibrate. Energy rises, and yet some of us can get into a low, stuck mood.

Interestingly, in the United States, the highest suicide rates occur in late spring and early summer, in late May or early June. Many people assume winter is the hardest season because it is darker and colder. The data shows something different. People with heavy depression through the winter are often too weary to hurt themselves, yet when increased light activates energy in the body, they can suddenly have the capacity to physically do self-harm. Watch your loved ones closely for shifts in behavior. 
​
It is important to recognize warning signs:
In adults, warning signs include talking about suicide or making plans, speaking about feeling like a burden, saying they feel trapped or in unbearable emotional or physical pain, or expressing hopelessness and having no reason to live. Increased use of alcohol or drugs is a red flag. So is reckless behavior, rage, talk of revenge, extreme mood swings, withdrawing from others, isolation, or major changes in sleep — either far too little or far too much. Chronic illness and serious physical health conditions can also increase vulnerability. One sign that is subtle yet indicative of suicidal ideation is giving away cherished, sentimental, and personal items.

In youth, warning signs often show up as hopelessness about the future, intense emotional pain, or distress that feels overwhelming. Physical complaints such as fatigue, headaches, and stomachaches accompany withdrawal from friends, changes in social patterns, noticeable sleep changes, and anger or hostility that seems out of character. Sudden agitation or irritability is a sign that it is time to get your child to a highly recommended child therapist and or group therapy for kids.

When these signs appear, they require attention. Talking openly saves lives. Reaching out creates a connection. There is no shame in getting professional help. When someone is in immediate danger, call 911 and call or text 988 in the United States for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Spring carries bloom and fragrance. It also carries intensity. Awareness of your surroundings, behavior patterns, and relationship status protects. Energy can rise before depressive mood lifts. Serotonin patterns shift. Circadian rhythms adjust. Social activity increases during seasons filled with bloom, fragrance, weddings, graduations, and outward joy. Spring is beautiful and can also set a tone of vulnerability for those who are not feeling the life force or the wherewithal to socialize.

This time of year brings the stir of spring and restlessness. Sleep can become difficult, especially after the March 8 2:00 am time change. Individuals on the bipolar spectrum can experience hypomanic surges as daylight extends. Especially if they are also on antidepressants along with mood stabilizers. Continuing the anti-depressants as mood lifts is important to discuss with your prescribing doctor.  A sudden rise in mood can lift someone to an unhealthy and dangerous high, and recognizing rapid mood shifts matters.

Note that the most challenging shift is from winter to spring, especially in cold, damp, darker areas. Start a journal and keep track of your thoughts and emotions. This year in California, we will not experience as dramatic a seasonal contrast because winter was mild, yet the internal adjustment still occurs.

When you notice irritability or low mood, return to basics: whole foods, watching sugar and refined carbohydrates, exercise, sunlight exposure, hydration, consistent sleep, and limiting alcohol. Step into morning light soon after waking. Reset your bedtime after Daylight Saving Time. Replace heavier winter foods with lighter seasonal produce. Support the body as it recalibrates.

Spring is a great time to reset your outer environment. Make a list of what you want to accomplish. Organize the garage. Clear out and reorganize neglected spaces. Do a true spring cleaning, which means getting under furniture and into the corners. As you awaken from winter, you start noticing the dust bunnies, spider webs, and specks on fabrics and floors. Open the windows. Clean rugs and fabrics. Wash the baseboards. Let fresh air circulate.

From a Feng Shui perspective, winter chi becomes stagnant. Opening windows restores good energy and flow. Refreshing entryways shift energy throughout the entire house. Clearing cluttered corners reactivates movement. Activating all nine areas of the bagua aligns your home with the growth happening outdoors.

Plant new flowers. Grow herbs. Create a garden. Growth outside reinforces growth inside. The outer is a reflection of the inner self.

As it warms up, hydrate more, wear protective eyewear, and apply sunscreen. Give your body a spring cleaning, too. Buy a Dry Brush, and get your skin invigorated and your lymphs moving.

There is a lot to look forward to in spring — bloom, fragrance, celebrations, graduations, and visible growth everywhere. The season carries renewal and intensity at the same time. Awareness of both creates steadiness as we move into the light. 

Find out more about getting organized for spring, Feng Shui, mental health consulting, and more at I-Deal-Lifestyle Inc.
Marla Stone, MSW and mental health expert explains seasonal transitions and mood shifts
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Are There Still “Geniuses” at Apple? by Marla Stone, MSW, CEO I-Deal-Lifestyle Inc.

2/27/2026

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In my opinion, a prolonged escalation experience raises questions about support continuity and accountability
When Scale Replaces Accountability
In my opinion, I have been in a technical escalation cycle with Apple for more than three weeks with nothing resolved.
The issue is specific. In my experience, my iPhone cannot AirDrop to my Mac. Yet:
My iPhone can AirDrop to my husband’s phone.
My iPhone can AirDrop to friends’ phones.
My Mac can AirDrop to my iPhone.
The failure exists in one direction only: iPhone → Mac. Based on my experience and the diagnostics performed, it appears to be a contained compatibility conflict inside Apple’s integrated system. That distinction matters, in my opinion.
Fifteen Hours of Escalation
In my experience, more than 15 hours of calls with Senior Advisors, executive relations, and multiple diagnostic logging uploads resulted in repeated procedural loops. Each interaction generated a new case number. The original case number did not persist. I could never get the name of the first person who started my case and was on the phone with for three hours. Continuity for my family and me dissolved. Every new representative had to reconstruct the file from the beginning.
In my experience, there was no single accountable case owner. Engineers reviewed logs internally but did not communicate directly with the advisors or me. According to the advisors, all contact with the engineers was through email. It seems to me they are untouchable. And for me, with no clear feedback from the engineers,  unreliable. No defined timeline was provided. No definitive explanation was offered. Additional diagnostics were requested repeatedly.
The loop became procedural: upload diagnostics, wait, call back, repeat.
In my opinion, when progress depends primarily on repeated follow-up rather than centralized ownership, the customer effectively manages the escalation.
The Ecosystem Question
Apple markets seamless integration. In my opinion, that promise contrasts with the volume of public forum discussions describing one-directional AirDrop failures, stalled transfers, post-update inconsistencies, and cross-device irregularities.
In my view, complex ecosystem features rely on multiple interdependent systems — networking, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, Apple ID authentication, security permissions, and pairing protocols. When one-directional failure occurs, coordination across internal teams appears necessary.
From a customer perspective, fragmentation can feel like diffusion of ownership.
Transparency and Communication
Repeated diagnostic uploads without a clear explanation create uncertainty. Apple states diagnostics are secure. Yet I still do not have a clear idea what they logged out of my computer. And some advisors go off my computer share when I put in a password, and some don't. In my experience, limited visibility into findings, unclear explanations about my computer, and a lack of confidence in the process reduced my confidence in the process.
Transparency strengthens trust. Clear ownership reinforces accountability.
Scale and the Support Paradox
Large technology organizations often operate with tiered escalation systems. As companies scale, support processes become layered. Communication flows through ticket systems rather than direct engineering access.
In my opinion, when resolution depends heavily on persistence rather than system clarity, customers experience strain — particularly when device functionality affects professional work. In my personal case, my body suffered from long hours spent sitting and working on my computer, and from being held accountable to the mystery engineers for part of their job. 
Consumer Options and Oversight
In general, when consumers believe a technical or service issue remains unresolved after extended escalation, standard consumer avenues exist. These include filing complaints with agencies such as the Federal Trade Commission, a state Attorney General’s office, or the Better Business Bureau. Some customers also document their experiences publicly or share concerns with consumer journalists. In my case, I will take the time to advocate for any of you and myself who are experiencing what appears to me to be a sham of wasted time and money.
These types of oversight mechanisms exist across industries within established consumer protection frameworks. Mentioning them here is not an allegation of wrongdoing, but rather recognition that consumers have formal channels available when seeking further review.
A Personal Reflection
This post reflects my experience and perspective. Others may have different outcomes. But after being reminded by one advisor that Apple is a "trillion-dollar company", I almost felt uneasy speaking up.
This is not about a single AirDrop failure. It is about whether visible accountability remains central to the support experience.
Customers do not expect perfection. They expect ownership, clarity, and resolution.
In my opinion, the strength of a technology brand is demonstrated not only in innovation, but in how consistently it closes the loop when systems fail.
The “Genius” brand historically represented technical mastery. Today, mastery is measured in continuity, transparency, and case resolution.
Marla Stone, I-Deal-Lifestyle.com 
Because we care about how you live.
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Buried Alive in Clutter (and Coming Up Smelling Like a Rose) by Orange County Professional Organizer, Marla Stone, MSW

2/24/2026

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​Clutter rarely explodes into a home. It seeps.
A stack of mail lands on the counter. A box from a move never quite gets unpacked. A closet quietly absorbs one more “I might need this.” A garage becomes a holding zone for decisions postponed.
Nothing dramatic. Just gradual accumulation.
Then one day you try to open a drawer, and it resists. You attempt to park in the garage and negotiate with storage bins. You search for one document and end up finding twelve unrelated things instead.
That is usually the moment people realize they are not living in a system. They are living in a storage unit.
Clutter is not a character flaw. It is a delayed decision-making process layered over time. It is sentiment. It is busyness. It is a transition. It is growth without environmental recalibration.
And beneath it all is a simple truth: the space no longer reflects your current life, the one you dream about, and long for.
When I-Deal-Lifestyle enters a home, we do not start by tossing. We start by clarifying.
Every item is evaluated through defined criteria. Will you use it? Does it serve a purpose? Is it sentimental? Do you love it?
This is not about minimalism. It is about alignment.
When belongings are gathered up and categorized into broad categories, leaving clear floors and countertops, something starts to shift. The piles stop feeling like personal booby traps. Your stuff becomes inventory. Once inventory is clearly organized by categories, it can be fine-tuned. Once refined, it can be placed intentionally in containers, bins, drawer inserts, and a permanent resting place with like items.
There is that moment during every project when the space exhales. A countertop reappears. A closet closes smoothly. The garage floor becomes visible again. The room feels lighter, not because it is empty, but because it is decluttered and organized.
What surprises people most is not the visual change. It is the mental change.
Clutter creates subtle cognitive drag. Every misplaced item is a micro-interruption. Every overfilled drawer is a small negotiation. Over time, that friction accumulates.
When systems are restored, mental and emotional health, and your aesthetically pleasing space return.
Morning routines stabilize. Paper has a defined home. Seasonal items rotate logically. Belongings live where they are used. Maintenance becomes natural rather than exhausting.
We do not create temporary neatness. We implement placement based on frequency, function, and seasonality. Categories are refined into subcategories, which are then further refined into even finer categories. Storage reflects the other parts of your organized space. And the strategies you learn are designed to hold.
With an adequate number of professional organizers, most projects are completed within three days. Not because we rush, but because decisiveness, person power, and coordinated strategy reduce delay.
Lower hourly rates often extend timelines. Structure shortens them.
Decluttering is not a purge. It is recalibration.
It is standing in your own environment and choosing what supports your life now.
When the work is complete, clients often stand quietly in their own homes. They notice how the air feels different. How surfaces remain clear. How decisions feel lighter.
They are not walking into a staged photograph. They are walking into a functional space that reflects who they are becoming.
Buried in clutter feels overwhelming.
Coming up organized feels stable.
And yes, when your environment aligns with your life, you rise out of the chaos — steady, clear, and grounded — smelling like a rose.
​contact: www.i-deal-lifestyle.com 
orange county professional organizer I-Deal-Lifestyle
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Getting Through Grief Gracefully-Learning To Bend Without Breaking Marla Stone, MSW, Author of The Clutter Remedy

2/10/2026

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Grief is sneaky. It is petulant. It is a snare, a trap, a tsunami, and also a river that eventually runs dry. And even when the tears stop gushing, and you feel empty of any feelings at all, grief can swirl up again and create a tornado that spins you around, dizzying you into that oblivion all over again. So do we ever get through it? I know you want the answer to be yes, and yet I will not attest to that, since although I am closer to being graced with a peaceful heart and a loving mode today, I have no idea what tomorrow’s nature will be like.
Great loss is generally what creates deep grief, and is there really any other kind of grief? I myself have not experienced mild grief. I understand that subdued grief or denial, eruptive anger, and bargaining away the grief are part and parcel to grief. I know that not getting out of bed, not showering, and not finding joy in the simplest things is depression and a huge stomp of grief’s vengeance. Grief hides behind so many feelings, actions, behaviors, and mishaps, and it can hide the spirit that drives us into places we do not want to go, nor ever dreamed was possible.
Each month, grief dabbles with drops of sparkly soul days when laughter rings, the sun lies on our faces, and a walk through nature takes us to our happy state, yet it can always swoop back to remind us we cannot slip out the back, escape, and resume our life before grief. You can remind yourself that the ultimate goal is acceptance, and what does that even mean in terms of the force of our emotions? Like nature, emotions just keep on coming. There is no stopping those darned feelings. Yet acceptance comes and goes, and will it someday be permanent?
I accept I have lost people that I love. I accept they are in a different plane of existence. I acknowledge all the wounds and heavenliness of knowing them. I go back and forth in my thoughts about who they were to me, what they did to me, and for me, and always end up back at how they loved me. Then I ponder all the things I could have done better, the times I was overwhelmed and did not call or visit, and I remember how much I did call and visit. It is like that ride at an amusement park where you swing back and forth, spin, dip, and dive. Yet unlike the roller coasters, haunted houses, Ferris wheels, scramblers, tilt-a-whirls, and bumper cars—which end rather quickly and without harm or grief—it is the scariest, bumpiest, and most frightening ride of all. So, as it is difficult to go on an amusement ride gracefully, I do not think grace has a part in grief.
Being graceful through grief when you are new to it is like being graceful the first time you ice skate. Not possible. Yet despite hours of skating and eventually skating backwards, gliding effortlessly, and even twirling without falling, do we get better at loss as it hits us more than once? Is it that we get more numb, more rational, jaded, contemplative, and worn out? Could it be that deep, difficult relationships hit harder than acquaintances or distant family members? Does each loss have a different emotional barometer? The answer lies within each of us. We are all different beings with a myriad of responses to loss. So if I am wrong, how do we incorporate grace and gratitude into the process of losing loved ones, careers, a limb, a relationship, or any loss that imprinted us for good?
In Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gracefulness, gracefulness, or being graceful, is the physical characteristic of displaying “pretty agility” in the form of elegant movement, poise, or balance. Wiki also states this: “Gracefulness is sometimes also attributed to non-corporeal human actions, such as the use of language (‘a graceful turn of phrase’) or the control of emotion (‘accepting defeat gracefully’).”
In doing more research about “pretty agility,” in context with our emotions, I realized that a way out of grief is to learn a ballerina plié, which means to bend while keeping your heels on the floor, becoming agile in our emotional responses to life’s greatest disappointments and sorrows, with our eyes looking ahead to our dreams and goals. Instead of procrastination and a deadening of our mission in life because of hard blows, we rise to the occasions of our greatness.
Breathing in and blowing out the musty air steadily, until our mind softens and is wistfully at peace. Not unconscious, yet consciously quiet and still.
www.i-deal-lifestyle.com
[email protected]
 
 

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The outer reflects the inner; one shifts, the other follows by Marla Stone, MSW

1/7/2026

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Picture
Organizing oneself takes time, attention, and commitment. Organizing one’s space does as well. The two move together. One mirrors the other.

When I walk into a home, an office, or even a car overflowing with papers, discarded items, and accumulated “stuff,” there is usually more occurring than surface-level disorder. Mental, emotional, or physical strain often shows up in the environment. Disorder rarely appears in isolation.

I know this pattern firsthand. When my internal world drifts off balance, my external environment follows. My “Disorganized Self” can override my “Organized Self,” creating visual chaos that blocks clarity, momentum, and ease. Piles begin to form. Duplicates appear. Clothing multiplies without intention. The space begins to communicate overwhelm back to its owner.

What looks like clutter is often a signal.

Hopelessness creeps in when time appears scarce. Wonderment arises when asking, How did this happen again? Order existed recently. The space was addressed. Yet disorder returns, not because of failure, but because something deeper seeks attention.

Outer disorganization often acts as a diversion. It pulls focus toward papers, objects, and mess, drawing attention away from larger life transitions, unresolved challenges, or outdated patterns. It becomes easier to reorganize a drawer than to reorganize a life direction.

Change carries weight. Moving forward through transitions takes resolve. Facing them can feel like walking into a blizzard without protection—cold, disorienting, and destabilizing. Yet remaining in the storm of disorder creates its own form of stagnation.

Clarity begins with orientation.

Understanding who you are, what matters now, and where you are headed quiets the internal noise. Without that clarity, thoughts circle endlessly—past experiences looping like a carousel, pulling attention backward instead of forward. Slowing that motion creates calm. Calm creates focus. Focus allows sorting—of ideas, priorities, desires, and direction.

That sorting opens the passage to growth.

The first stage of reckoning with personal disorganization is forming a clear vision of an ideal lifestyle. Not someone else’s version. Yours. How life looks. How it functions. How it supports who you are becoming.

This vision builds the framework for sustainable organization. Creating a visual reference—through images, words, or symbols—anchors intention. Writing clarifies direction. Journaling ideas, goals, and aspirations transforms abstract thoughts into structure. From there, organization becomes purposeful rather than reactive.

This process aligns inner order with outer order.

My background spans over seventeen years as a clinical social worker and psychotherapist, counseling thousands of individuals, families, and groups. That work shaped my understanding of human behavior, patterns, and change. I worked with people facing profound challenges—trauma, serious mental health conditions, life transitions, aging, family systems, and high-stress environments. I developed treatment-support programs, collaborated with medical professionals, and created interventions for complex needs, including work with military personnel.

That foundation informs everything I do now.

After years in the therapist’s chair, I returned to movement, application, and real-world transformation. Organizing became the bridge—where insight meets action. Space became a tool for clarity, stability, and momentum.

I-Deal-Lifestyle is a self and space organization practice designed to support lasting change. The work integrates environment, decision-making, habit formation, and personal direction. Organization becomes a strategy for living with intention, not a temporary fix.

I support homes, offices, and businesses throughout Orange County, Los Angeles, and San Diego, with additional locations by request. The focus remains consistent: creating systems that align with real life and support forward motion.

The outer reflects the inner.
When one shifts, the other follows.

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Vacation Time Or Is It Time To Get Organized, Upgrade Your Home or Feng Shui Your Space by Marla Stone, MSW

7/10/2025

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Picture
Vacationing costs time and money and yes creates memories however getting your residence and work space organized, upgraded, and designed can take a holidays place and last a life time. I suggest do a little of both and by the holidays coming up you'll be rested and more settled than ever!

Getting decluttered and clutter free often goes hand in hand with upgrading cabinets and creating interior storage space such as improved kitchen bathroom cabinets, and closets. Getting optimal storage options such as Costco’s five tier gorilla rack only sold in your local store for around 99.99 is my favorite. It holds twelve 66-quart Sterilite bins with the purple lock handles which are my favorite bins.

Once you have more storage items and a new or used armoire, dressers, end tables with some storage opportunities you can categorize your belongings and give them a fresh new home. This extra space also makes seasonal organizing by season a cinch.

​Next designing your space and furniture with some new paint, fabric, redesigning furniture placement, tiling, fresh carpet or exploring Feng Shui can make your space aesthetic and exciting as a five-star suite at a luxury hotel or airbnb.

Whatever you decide remember www.i-deal-lifestyle.com in the US and globally www.theclutterremedy.com will help you transform your life and space, forever!
​ Contact: [email protected]
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Ten Steps To Knowing When Your New Relationship Will Last Forever:  by Marla Stone, MSW

4/25/2025

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I often have clients who feel overwhelmed by personal issues. They call me to check out their space, and they can organize independently with a few simple space planning strategies. Yet these clients don't only contact me for a bit of clutter and Feng Shui. They call me because they are lonely, unsure about their careers, or, often, worried about their love lives. So, I give them some great exercises and coaching on how to find an ideal partner.

So, what is an ideal partner? It is different for everyone. Everyone will want to figure out 30 things they want in a perfect partner and go BIG! Fairy Godmother Big! Also, do not put any no, non, or not words on the list. So instead of saying not an addicted person, you would write it as addiction-free. Figuring out what you genuinely want in another human you want to partner with is like having a map on a treasure hunt.  Without a criterion, you're going on blind dates blindly, and you won't know the correct questions to explore the person you're meeting with. Think about it: when you look for a car, a home, or a new career, you check off boxes and make lists to make a great decision. Why not do that to find the love of a lifetime? Once you make your list, email me at [email protected], and I will tell you parts two, three, and four of this miraculous exercise. 

Next, knowing these ten most important things about someone you become interested in will tell you if the person can become a lifetime partner.

1. Did you have similar parenting styles growing up? This is very important. When the parenting styles of each person are completely opposite or different, it will often impact their ability to have a long-term relationship. 
2. Knowing about this person's childhood, family relationships, friends, and how they got along with others is essential to knowing how they will get along with you, your family, and your friends. Will they enhance or hurt your current and future relationships?
3. Mutual physical and mental attraction is a significant factor in a couple's lasting love rather than only for a while. It's okay to love how someone looks to you; an IQ difference of even 5 points can dampen conversations, how you view the world, and communication.
4. Sexual compatibility and monogamy versus non-monogamy are huge. Get that straight as soon as possible. Ask the person if they have cheated on other partners or have been comfortable with open relationships. Ask them Are you monogamous?  Don't use the word "faithful, " since it has a different meaning. A dog can be faithful, but it doesn't mean it's not going down the street to screw a poodle.
​5. Knowing the habits, hobbies, favorite foods, and music will be something to discover before getting too cozy. When you find out the person loves to sit around watching TV in their underwear, play online poker daily, eat llamas, and listen to death metal at the highest volume, it can be a deal breaker when you realize this is their ideal lifestyle.
6. Make sure your family, friends, aunts, uncles, and cousins love your prospective partner as much as you do. If your choice of partner is someone who rubs everyone the wrong way, or even a few of them, you can be sure to feel the same way about them when you open up your eyes and see them clearly. Your family often knows and loves you more than you know and love yourself, especially when you're reeling in an emotional love tidal wave. Your loved ones can see the Tsunami mismatch even though you can't.
7. Spiritual, moral, and political disparities can wear on a couple long-term, eventually leading to frustration and dismay. When you like to go to church every Sunday and your partner is more of a pagan, the relationship will most likely come apart at the seams. When there are varying degrees of moral ineptitude, respect for each other will wane, and when there are extreme political views, debates will turn to loud arguments, fraying any sense of security and well-being. 
8. Knowing about their childhood and the close friends/relationships they had throughout their lives will help you understand how they got along with people and how they will get along with you, your family, and your friends. It will also tell you about how they view relationships in general. Understanding their support system and how they communicate with others will create a long-lasting relationship.
9. Understanding traumas, wounds, past break-ups, mental health challenges, and personality challenges (there are nine different personality disorders people can suffer from) will be imperative to knowing if you or your partner can handle the sticky stuff later in life. Too many couples get hitched without knowing each other's complex past issues. Most people don't unpack this until after marriage or moving in together. One or the other may be unable to handle the emotions that arise, and the togetherness will not remain intact.
10. How will you parent when you choose to have kids? This is a big thing to discuss prior to getting into a serious relationship. When there are two different parenting styles, the divide in the family is destructive, and the kids suffer the most from two different parental foghorns. Hence, number one is so significant on this list.

For coaching, email [email protected]
​www.i-deal-lifestyle.com
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Wake Up and Be Organized by Marla Stone

12/16/2024

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While capitalism has brought abundance and material security to modern living, it can cause people to overcollect. In fact, many Americans find their precious possessions stuffing their homes to the brim, leaving them disorganized and with overly cluttered spaces. They are not necessarily "clinical" cases, yet they have too many items to track or care for. This clutter inevitably causes one to feel unnecessarily stressed and overwhelmed.

The answer to this common predicament is not sending all your stuff straight to the dump. By simply categorizing and adequately organizing your possessions, you will have an organized and beautiful home or office that exhibits cabinetry and collections instead of living in shambles with dust collectors. Having vast collections is respectable as long as they are sufficiently organized.

The show "Hoarders" exemplifies extreme cases, and you most likely have what is considered a "normal" amount of stuff strewn all over the place. So, categorizing, containing, and finding homes for all your belongings can be daunting, especially if you're at it alone. The www.theclutterremedy.com professionals are located nationwide.

There are pros on the site that help uplift space and have proprietary ways of helping you get organized in the long term. It is one thing to get organized, but they will also do lifestyle coaching exercises with you to help you remain organized forever. They will help you declutter thoroughly and entirely. No matter how much clutter you have, they allow you to implement an organizational system tailored to your space and possessions.

In addition, The Clutter Remedy Directory offers Interior Designers, Feng Shui, Closet Designers, Home Improvement professionals, Cleaners, and Junk Removal professionals who will revitalize your living spaces and bring you peace of mind. Remember, it is not your possessions that matter but how they supplement your life.

Are you getting the knack for organization? It is the natural time to clear and clean, so you will have fun year-round.

On www.i-deal-lifestyle.com.
You will find an array of blog articles below about living an ideal lifestyle and how to improve corporate business strategies.

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Are the Relatives Coming for the Holidays? Tips to cope with getting ready! By Marla Stone, Owner of The Clutter Remedy

12/4/2024

3 Comments

 
Picture
Okay, I'm sure the panic is just starting to creep up! It is inevitable; the holidays
are here! Holiday parties have already begun to show up on your calendar. Cards are starting to show up in the mail. You're feeling pressured to shop, clean, organize, cook, and get all the holiday gear out and up. I know because I am feeling it, too.

I started preparing and getting things done earlier this year than
ever before because I am 60-plus years old now, and I  can't afford to
stroke out over Santa and burnt-out bulbs. I also decided to downsize some of
the hoopla. Instead of unpacking all the holiday stuff, I kept it
simple and put out about half the trinkets and decor. I strung only half
the lights around the house and garden than I usually would hang. I used the
tiniest fake Christmas tree for our official tree this year. Usually, I make a
huge plate of Latkes (painstaking potato pancakes), and this year, I bought
them from a woman who makes them way better than I do.  Also, Trader Joe's Latkes are spectacular.

We celebrate Hanukah and Christmas in our home, which can get complicated. This year, I did not let that happen. A Menorah here and a Santa there, not the gazillion items I usually put out, and the house still looks, smells, and feels like the holidays. And I feel more rested and at ease during this hectic season.

When I discuss easing up around the holidays with friends, family, and clients, I usually hear the heavy-hearted whine about "doing it for the kids." Well, let me tell you, having your kids watch you spaz out about what tree to buy, where to put it, what to put on it, and hunting down the dreidel from Aunt Ida while drowning in butter cookie dough does not make them feel warm and cuddly.  Do you really think they are enjoying watching you have a merry meltdown?  No, the kids would rather see you relaxed, communicative, and well MERRY. Take a sip of that good ol' fashion...ol' fashion. 

In the old days, we just did not have that much stuff.  We had one lovely dress or suit to wear.  One dressy shoe choice to put on our feet.  We had one tree, one Menorah, a few candles, one wreath, one Dreidel, and very few presents around that tree, mainly consisting of what we could use, like clothing, shoes, books, and specific items that we would buy regardless. Today's holiday celebration has become so large, fast, and furious that it is like a heart-thumping marathon, ending with a meal that would cause most people heart pain and indigestion. It starts to feel so overwhelming and stressful that it takes the "holi" out of holiday, leaving "day." Just another day of stress, strategies, and desire for sleep, nutrition, and to be in better shape!

This year, take it easy and don't use the kids, Martha Stewart's latest Christmas articles, or the neighbor’s neon holiday front yard displays as an inspiration to push you over.  I always say, "If you push, you fall."  And remember, we are going into another seasonal change...Winter.  Read this article on how seasonal shifts affect our mood and demeanor. https://www.i-deal-lifestyle.com/blog/transitioning-with-the-seasons-by-marla-stone

Winter will be on December 21st, 2024 this year, so enjoy the fall's end without falling on your face.  Clown around more, talk to more friends on the phone instead of texting, have a holiday potluck dinner instead of putting it all on your shoulders, and just sit with your kids and talk about the loftier aspects of the holidays and why and how they started in the first place!  Put things into perspective when it comes to spending and giving.  Donate items you no longer want to a charity, especially those that support the homeless, around the holidays.  Know how fortunate you are, and be grateful for a new year to come!

Marla Stone, Ideal Lifestyle Expert
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<<Previous
    Marla

    Professional Organizer I-Deal-Lifestyle Blog

    Marla Stone is known as the Declutter Your Strategy™ expert. She holds a BA in Psychology and a Master’s in Social Work and is the founder of I-Deal-Lifestyle Inc., a strategy improvement company that bridges mental health, professional organizing, Feng Shui, and corporate performance.
    Her work integrates home and business organizing, environmental design, C-level advising, training and development, employee wellness initiatives, and mental health consulting. Marla works with individuals, families, and corporations to improve clarity, productivity, emotional balance, and measurable growth.
    She is the author of The Clutter Remedy: A Guide to Getting Organized for Those Who Love Their Stuff and the creator of multiple corporate transformation programs focused on alignment, structure, and sustainable success.

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